2025 was an intense year, to say the least! It was a year of transitions, a year of becoming more deeply established in my dharma, and a year of old things ending. It was a mixture of difficult passages, good changes, and loss.
Throughout it all, I felt the call to trust more deeply than I ever have before. To exercise a more substantial faith and a greater willingness to walk in the uncomfortable spaces of the unknown.
Towards the end of October, the year was starting to catch up with me and I was looking forward to carving out some time to rest. It was right then that I received a text from my brother. My father had been admitted to the ICU and things weren’t looking good. So in early November, just after arriving back in San Miguel for the holidays, I journeyed northward to accompany my father in his last days.
One thing I’ve learned over and over again is that our challenges are imbued with soul gifts. And we always have the power to create what we long for, no matter how our circumstances look.
In my last hours with my father, I was able to witness him deeply—to truly hear him and look into his soul, and help him transition across the veil. I was able to give him the very gift that I’d longed for, but never fully received, in my family of origin: the power of being seen and understood.
My father had never been able to really enter my world. Creative pursuits and spiritual passions were beyond his realm of understanding. And although he tried at times, he was simply unaccustomed to engaging with endeavors that veered from a traditional life path, or that entered the realm of soul. I’d experienced heartache over the years at not being seen by him in ways that felt like love.
However, even though my father couldn’t enter my world, I could enter his. And in these last moments of his life, my deep witnessing at his bedside clearly touched him. Despite being unable to speak, he exerted much physical effort to mouth the words “I love you.”
This brought tears to my eyes. And I was reminded of the power we have to give to others exactly what we long for.
The invitation, then, is to go beyond our own story (with our family of origin, with a partner, with a challenging relationship, etc) and tap into the power of love to give what we long to have given in return. The divine feminine will always remind us of our inherent power. And what we do with this power can transform and heal our lives, and deeply touch those around us.