The spirit behind things matters so much more than the action itself. You can take the same person and the same action, and in one case it might be the exact thing that's necessary because of what is driving it, and in the other case it may be completely misdirected. It's always what's underneath that reveals the very essence of something.
Discernment is such a helpful life tool. But it easily becomes a very underdeveloped entity in a world that lives and breathes the external. We're saturated with this outer layer of life from the moment we awake until we fall asleep again at night. But awareness of what's inside, and the ability to shift it when necessary, is like gold...rare and of high value.