permission

May 9, 2013

Permission can be a tricky thing to grant oneself. Oftentimes I find I know what I want, but it is giving myself permission to pursue it that is hard. I'm not sure why this is. I suppose desires, which are so freely expressed as children, get easily buried by jobs, roles, others' words, negativity, lack of belief, practicality and so on as we grow into adulthood. As I think about permission and desire with regards to art, I am aware that a fledgling interest in public art has been planted in me and is growing, albeit ever so incrementally. Just thinking about it and what could be possible is what is causing the most desire, joy, and freedom in my soul these days. Right now, it feels like the most free expression of art there is. Something completely unfettered comes to mind, perhaps growing on the side of a building, or in a street (as this cool street artist demonstrates), or in a park. But other voices can easily step in to compete....you need to become a brand, no one will ever pay you for that, people don't buy that kind of art, etc. But I guess I want to keep moving towards life. And by that, I mean towards the things, people, activities and art pursuits that are really life-giving, not deadening. So...it makes sense that "life" will be something different for different people. But I guess I am in favor of its pursuit and the seeds of permission that fuel it.

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